G sayings

Here are some interesting things G has said lately:

After talking about how he and Scout are going to live in their own houses when they grow up...
G: But we're a family!
Me: We'll always be a family, but when you grow up, you'll move to your own house. We'll still love each other and get together.
G: Oh, that's right. And when I grow up, Scout's going to be my wife, and I'll be her husband!

G: Is it okay if I close my eyes when I sleep?
Me: Yes.
G: Good, cause that's what I do.

G: I don't need to wash my hands, because I don't see any germs on them.
Me: That's the thing about germs. You can't see them.
G: I'm pretending I can.

G: I'm pretending I'm a pirate, and I have to go to the castle. So I get in my rocket and fly up there and rescue the princess, and her name is Princess Bride.
Me: Who are you?
G: I'm that pirate from the Princess Bride movie. You know, the black man. (I raise my eyebrows) I mean the man in the black clothes.

G: Do real spiders shoot webs out of their hands like Spiderman?
Me: I think the webs come out of their bottoms.
G: That doesn't sound very comfortable.

G: Mommy, I want those round, brown things we get at Jason's Deli. They're brown and crunchy.
Me: Salty or sweet?
G: Sweet.
Me: Do you know what they're called?
G: I think they call them teeter totters.
After about 10 minutes of going back and forth, and figuring out that he meant Waterloo and not Jason's Deli, I cracked the code....tater tots.

After challenging me to a race to Scout's room (Ryan usually says "I'm gonna beat you!"),
G: I'm going to beat you up in Scout's room!